Swing Life Away

"...simple thoughts from the mind of a loner..."

• I cannot shake the feeling that we've lost our way not just as men but as people. For some odd reason we just can't get over our need to be connected to people even when we have someone right in front of us. Our deepest connections have become no more than a mere shell of what they should be or in most cases could have been. I crave the days where those closest to me can just be sitting in a circle sipping merlot without having outside influences on the conversation. My favorite times in my life have been my and my friends just sitting around reminiscing about when things were different. I understand we've grown older but by no means does it mean we've should have grown colder. Since when has currency held value over human life? It's truly baffling how cut throat we can be over some green pieces of paper. It seems we have all sold out souls for the price of diamonds and gold, I would love to say I'm different but in honestly I'm all about money. I don't per sue money for the sake of money but I do in hopes that I can support the family I so desperately want. To make sure my kids have a good home, my wife has the money to do whatever her heart damn well pleases so even if I have to work until I'm black, blue, and burgundy working until I get that rich mahogany.
• "Man knows, he knows nothing will begin unless he speaks, and that nothing will change, unless he moves." The problem is the change itself by no means is it guaranteed that afore mentioned change will be a good one. I'll all about living life, making rash decisions, and taking risks but when it comes to matters of the heart and having a real relationship count me out. No bullshit that stuff is terrifying "well the worst she can say is "no"" Yeah I know that and fuck you because that is exactly what I'm afraid of! Believe it or not I will keep myself in a state of suspended flirting with a girl just because I rather have her close to me that way, then run the risk of being stupid and losing her completely. I refuse to believe any girl could be actually attracted to me hell when every friend I have is telling me "she's totally into you"we could "flirt" day in and day out and I will never think anything of it, even every ounce of my being is screaming to be with you. Simply because I know myself I know what and who I am and I don't think any woman should have deal with this madness. You know what I can't even get with her because her ring finger might as well rocked up.

All in all it is my envy pushes me I want a wife like Tiffani Vititoe, Whitney Tierney, Michelle Dailey, Ashley Burris, Karissa Fry, Stephanie Ebanks or Emily Edge, the amazing girlfriends women like Alley Kreiling , Janie Acthley, Katie Segura, Elise Zeigler, Anne Marie Chadima, Sharon Vandygriff, Samantha McLain, Tera Woods, or Kerry Singh but I fear that as much as I want to be a husband and father that shit just isn't in my feature. My pride and my self righteousness may be my undoing but no one will ever be able to say I didn't try to make everyone smile if only for a little while.

Could it be destiny or a small jest of God never the less I do nothing but wonder why so much trouble falls into my lap.