It All Started With A Swim
...Next thing I know I was trying to keep people from drowning like I have. The following post is how I lost my way, maybe it'll help someone else from getting too tired to swim.
The thing is for most like myself the loss of confidence wasn't really a "loss" it is more along of the lines of it never developed in the first place.
We all know growing up, that as kids we were pretty ruthless nothing was off limits and if you cried or whined about it the situation got worse. So most just buried what they felt not realizing that eventually that what the felt would effect them later down the line. I have always been a pretty popular individual (despite my distaste for people) and honestly I believe that being popular made my situation worse I was friends with all the "cool" kids knew all the right people and was generally liked almost everything. The problem was that despite my best efforts I was different than everyone else around me my friends have always been the skinny/muscular guys who could have any girl they wanted, or the girls so pretty so cool they almost didn't seem real. So after awhile I ceased having my own identity I was always so and so's friend or the short (yes believe it or not growing up I was a runt), or the fat kid. I soon became the guy you got close to just to get with someone because I had an "in" with everyone, and that stayed with me for the longest time. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't get a date to save my life it soon started to change my personality I became super shy and couldn't hold a proper conversation with a girl I thought was attractive (barely can after 23 years). When I finally started to come into my own again and starting dating I lost all the progress I made over the years. About 95% of the girls I dated ended up cheating on me with the same type of guy that I envied and instead of learning from the whole thing I took it personal extremely personal I might add, which did not help the situation. After awhile it dawned on me kids fucking suck, and shit happens. So what she cheated on me her loss, so what the guy next to me has abs of steel he still ain't shit. Basically it comes down to loving yourself and being man or woman enough to actually go after what you or who you want. They say confidence is the key and it's the truth and if you feel that you don't have a reason to be confident in yourself it's as simple as fixing it. Don't let your past run your life, but don't run from it either it makes you who you are.
The thing is for most like myself the loss of confidence wasn't really a "loss" it is more along of the lines of it never developed in the first place.
We all know growing up, that as kids we were pretty ruthless nothing was off limits and if you cried or whined about it the situation got worse. So most just buried what they felt not realizing that eventually that what the felt would effect them later down the line. I have always been a pretty popular individual (despite my distaste for people) and honestly I believe that being popular made my situation worse I was friends with all the "cool" kids knew all the right people and was generally liked almost everything. The problem was that despite my best efforts I was different than everyone else around me my friends have always been the skinny/muscular guys who could have any girl they wanted, or the girls so pretty so cool they almost didn't seem real. So after awhile I ceased having my own identity I was always so and so's friend or the short (yes believe it or not growing up I was a runt), or the fat kid. I soon became the guy you got close to just to get with someone because I had an "in" with everyone, and that stayed with me for the longest time. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't get a date to save my life it soon started to change my personality I became super shy and couldn't hold a proper conversation with a girl I thought was attractive (barely can after 23 years). When I finally started to come into my own again and starting dating I lost all the progress I made over the years. About 95% of the girls I dated ended up cheating on me with the same type of guy that I envied and instead of learning from the whole thing I took it personal extremely personal I might add, which did not help the situation. After awhile it dawned on me kids fucking suck, and shit happens. So what she cheated on me her loss, so what the guy next to me has abs of steel he still ain't shit. Basically it comes down to loving yourself and being man or woman enough to actually go after what you or who you want. They say confidence is the key and it's the truth and if you feel that you don't have a reason to be confident in yourself it's as simple as fixing it. Don't let your past run your life, but don't run from it either it makes you who you are.
A few things to remember:
- There is a big difference between confidence and being an arrogant ass, someone who is really that damn good, doesn't need to constantly tell everyone or belittle others people just know the deal.
- Be upfront about your intentions nothing sucks more than being toyed with.
- Love yourself because if you don't no one else will either.
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