10 Ways You Can Ruin Your Relationship

The following is my own countdown for the least to the most contributing factors that can lead to failed relationships. It is all my opinion. If you don't like it or don't agree, that't your opinion, you can suck it.

10. Being Unmotivated To Try New Things

What one person won't do another one will.  At least attempt to try new things.  It takes two people to be in a relationship it is not all about what only you want and need.  Keep your relationship interesting because people tend to wander when things start to get boring.

9.  Wanting To Change Them

What you see is not necessarily what you get but who they are is who they are no matter what.  You cannot go into your relationship wanting to change something about them.  We all want to be loved by someone who loves us for us.  Don't try and change someone.  If you feel the need to do so maybe they aren't the person for you and you aren't the person for them.  You won't need to change your soul mate they will already be perfectly imperfect for you.

8.  Entering The Relationship For The Wrong Reasons

Don't get into a relationship if your only reason for doing so is because you're lonely, bored, or are trying to take your mind off something or someone else.  Madea said, "If you're lonely, get a goldfish."  Be comfortable and content being by yourself first then add someone else to the mix else what will you do once they leave?  Don't do it to take your mind off someone else either no matter how much you may want to. (Take this from someone who is currently trying their best not to do this)  Be patient and get over that first because if you don't you won't be 100% invested in your relationship.  That person might develop strong feelings for you and since your mind and heart still lies elsewhere you can end up hurting them.  That person in turn might end up hurting someone else and you'll be contributing to a cycle we need to get out of.  Don't be that person; Want to be in a relationship because you are ready to be with and give your all to someone not for any other reason.

7. Not 100% Invested In Your Partner

This leaves room for you to let other people into your life that have no business being there.  Just get out of your relationship.  It will have you thinking its still okay to talk and do things with some people when its not. Sometimes you lose interest in your partner. It happens and its okay.  Let that person go and try to find exactly what it is your looking for.

6.  Looking For, "Perfection"

Recognize and appreciate the fact that you have a good man or woman and they are doing the best they can.  No one is perfect; If you want a person with absolutely no flaws you will always be looking.

5.  You're Not Ready

"Through sickness and health, till death do us part."  When your with someone realize that on the grand scheme of things only one of two things are going to happen: You are either going to break up or you're going to get married.  If you are not ready to fully commit to one person; If you are not ready to make sacrifices and put somebody over your own wants and needs your relationship will not work out.

4.  Not Talking About Your Problems

Reverting back to my, "Open Your Damn Mouth" post, nothing will ever get fixed if you don't speak up.  It will keep building into this invisible wall each person will feel, no one will mention, but will keep dividing you both.

3.  You Can't Forgive

People make mistakes.  We are all human.  If you tell your significant other that you forgive them for something you are accepting what they did and once you accept what they did the situation or event needs to be wiped from your memory.  You cannot and are not allowed to hand what that person did over their head.  You are not allowed to bring it up on the slide.  You said you forgive them you need to let it go.  If you continue to hold onto it your relationship won't work out.

2.  You Won't Let Go Of Your Past

You cannot blame your current relationship for your past one.  If you have not fixed and made peace with your past before hopping into a relationship you will almost always continue to having the same feelings.  It will come up and end up hurting the person you're with.  Holding onto your past is like having a poison within your body that slowly kills you.  It will seep out of you and effect those around you.  Your relationship will not work out if you continue down this destructive path.

1.  You Don't Love Yourself First

If you love yourself, have confidence in yourself, no one can  take that away from you.  You know what you deserve and what you don't deserve.  Your significant other cannot tell you you look good if you, yourself, doesn't believe you do.  It will fall on deaf ears.  If you don't love yourself you will be insecure and insecurity leads to doubts which lead to suspicions which puts unnecessary strains on your relationship.  You need to love yourself or at least have the basic fundamentals of it laid down.  Allow your significant other to strengthen them but it needs to be there first.  If you have problems within yourself going into a relationship they will continue to be there.  

  It is my personal belief that true love fills a void you'd never before realized was empty.  Your significant other is supposed to compliment you.  Complete you, yes, but not make you up from nothing for if anything were to happen in your relationship you'd be left with nothing.  Want to be in a relationship so you can share all you are with someone not because you need them to fill voids only you, yourself, can fully fulfill.  

Love yourself first, then love someone else.

Hope this shines some light on things and helps you along the way.

Till next time,

XOXOXOXO

Knox