Diary of my Bitter Black woman
I once knew this girl.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking,"the fuck is so special about that? I know girls too."
Trust me. The girls you know ain't nothin like the one i knew.
She was, and to a certain extent, still is the most stunning woman I've ever met.
Beauty? Got it. Got plenty of it.
Brains? Please. She gave me a run for my money more than a few times; which, i can assure you, is no small feat.
But it was more than that. She had the most beautiful spirit. Always willing to help, always willing to offer someone a smile, or a kind word.
I don't know if you noticed, but i used the past tense quite a bit in my opening for this post.
Wondering why?
Its because the innocent, caring girl i used to know is gone.
She's still beautiful. She's still whip smart. But her spirit......her spirit is not there anymore. Its not the same.
Gone is the twinkle in her eye. Gone is that smile....that smile that just made the world seem right.
And the cause of the destruction, the cause of the devastation...was a man.
She loved this bad boy. Not because he was dangerous, but because she was innocent enough to see the good in him, when nobody else could.
Her innocence blinded her from one simple fact though; there was no good in the motherfucker to begin with.
Needless to say, i didn't like the shit one bit. I couldn't stand his punk ass. But, being "friendzoned", i didn't think there was anything i could do.
She dated the guy for three years.
He used her. He mistreated her. Cheated on her. Berated and belittled her. She used to call me crying every other week. Through tears, i used to beg her to leave him. I used to plead so hard that i would get angry with her because i thought she was just being stupid.
One day, i realized how wrong i was. All she was trying to do was impart a piece of her spirit, a piece of her innocence to him. She was trying to change him into the man she knew he could be.
Shit didn't work. At all.
Little by little, i watched through gritted teeth as her innocence was stripped away and her spirit was crushed. And when he felt like he couldn't use her anymore, he dumped her. Out of the blue. After three long years.
Every time i talk to her i want to kill him.
Gone is the trusting gentle soul. Gone is beautiful friend. She's defensive. She cuts down every guy that tries to approach her at any time. Granted, a good 90 percent of them have no idea how to talk to a female, which she points out bitterly every occasion she gets. But its not the woman i knew. And it rips my heart to pieces.
Why am i writing about this shit? I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe because i still feel guilty that i didn't do enough. What i do know is this:
If you're reading this and you're the type of man that hurt my friend, please know something.
I will find you
And I will kill you.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking,"the fuck is so special about that? I know girls too."
Trust me. The girls you know ain't nothin like the one i knew.
She was, and to a certain extent, still is the most stunning woman I've ever met.
Beauty? Got it. Got plenty of it.
Brains? Please. She gave me a run for my money more than a few times; which, i can assure you, is no small feat.
But it was more than that. She had the most beautiful spirit. Always willing to help, always willing to offer someone a smile, or a kind word.
I don't know if you noticed, but i used the past tense quite a bit in my opening for this post.
Wondering why?
Its because the innocent, caring girl i used to know is gone.
She's still beautiful. She's still whip smart. But her spirit......her spirit is not there anymore. Its not the same.
Gone is the twinkle in her eye. Gone is that smile....that smile that just made the world seem right.
And the cause of the destruction, the cause of the devastation...was a man.
She loved this bad boy. Not because he was dangerous, but because she was innocent enough to see the good in him, when nobody else could.
Her innocence blinded her from one simple fact though; there was no good in the motherfucker to begin with.
Needless to say, i didn't like the shit one bit. I couldn't stand his punk ass. But, being "friendzoned", i didn't think there was anything i could do.
She dated the guy for three years.
He used her. He mistreated her. Cheated on her. Berated and belittled her. She used to call me crying every other week. Through tears, i used to beg her to leave him. I used to plead so hard that i would get angry with her because i thought she was just being stupid.
One day, i realized how wrong i was. All she was trying to do was impart a piece of her spirit, a piece of her innocence to him. She was trying to change him into the man she knew he could be.
Shit didn't work. At all.
Little by little, i watched through gritted teeth as her innocence was stripped away and her spirit was crushed. And when he felt like he couldn't use her anymore, he dumped her. Out of the blue. After three long years.
Every time i talk to her i want to kill him.
Gone is the trusting gentle soul. Gone is beautiful friend. She's defensive. She cuts down every guy that tries to approach her at any time. Granted, a good 90 percent of them have no idea how to talk to a female, which she points out bitterly every occasion she gets. But its not the woman i knew. And it rips my heart to pieces.
Why am i writing about this shit? I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe because i still feel guilty that i didn't do enough. What i do know is this:
If you're reading this and you're the type of man that hurt my friend, please know something.
I will find you
And I will kill you.
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